Attaining Mastery Over the Sex-Impulse

As the spiritual seeker begins to address the question of mastery over the sex-impulse, he becomes aware of the difficulties of tackling a deeply embedded process that stretches back into the early phases of animal evolution, and thus, has acquired a strong power base within the being. This power base for the sexual impulse includes long-established response mechanisms that trigger internal surges of certain hormones that direct the reaction of the mind, the heart, the nervous system, the vital and physical systems. Much of this response is virtually automatic as the triggering mechanism is activated in the being through the senses, by reception of pheromones or directly by the mind itself. As long as we are identified with the external mind-life-body complex and the ego-personality, we are subject to the pressures of the sexual impulse and these automatic, triggered responses.

The first attempts are generally made by trying to use will-power to deny or suppress the impulse. This generally fails as the instinctive behaviour is more powerful than the mental will generally. This leads to attempts to deny the triggering activities, such as abandoning life in the world for a quiet retreat in the cave, the forest, or the monastery, generally with a separation of the genders to avoid immediate pressure of sensual impressions. This also is doomed to failure, as it does not solve the problem, but simply avoids it. Then there are the attempts to ‘beat the nature into submission’ through some form of physical austerity or even bodily torture such as self-flagellation or other painful means, based in negative training that associates pain with the rising of thoughts or impulses in this direction. This type of operant conditioning may succeed in the short term, but does not actually solve the issue. Long-term it can create serious negative consequences at a number of levels in the being.

Some people believe that by restricting sensory stimuli, the sexual impulse can be avoided. This has frequently been used to hide women from view through use of visually obstructive clothing or through sequestration. This essentially tries to shift the responsibility for the rising of the sex-impulse away from men and make the women the ’cause’ of the problem. Similarly these societies may try to restrict expression, media and relationships, separate the genders and otherwise expect that by suppression and denial of sense impressions the sexual impulse is gone. This of course is not a solution and in fact, appears, in many cases, to make the societies within which this occurs more sexually aggressive as it is simply another form of repression and does not go to the root of the issue, — dealing with the underlying sexual impulse at its basic level.

Having reviewed what clearly has not worked, it is time to look at other options for gaining mastery over this impulse. The key to mastery over any of the actions or responses of the external being is to shift the standpoint away from living on the surface to that of the witness of the nature. This allows the witness to view the external impulses, pressures and reactions as something external and therefore easier to manage than something that one feels to be an integrated part of oneself. One can begin to recognise the pressure from outside, such as through the pervasive imagery that occurs in all the media and in society at large, and the vital pressures of social relationships that encourage sexual expression, and the pheromones released in one’s proximity in a social setting, that can trigger these reactions and simply not let them take over the action of the mind, life or body. As the witness consciousness becomes established, its power to not just witness, but master, the actions of the external mind-life-body complex increases. As the process develops, the seeker can experience the relief of the pressure in the mind, and in the emotions more quickly than in the parts of the being to which the sexual impulse is native — the vital and physical aspects of the being. Eventually however, as the energy is redirected constantly, all parts of the being shift their focus away from sexual energy towards utilisation of that energy in other ways supportive of the sadhana.

This process can take some time, so it is important for the seeker to not become discouraged or give up the effort. The pressure of the environment, and any residual impulses remaining in the subconscient parts of the being imply that the seeker must remain vigilant and non-reactive, and at the same time, not become overly anxious about a rising of the impulse in the dream-state, for instance if it is otherwise successfully rejected in the active daily life. Dreams can take up impressions not actively recognised or responded to during the waking state. In a hyper-sexualised society, the impressions are constantly being captured even if not attended to. Even if they are rejected by the waking consciousness, they can act to trigger dream-responses until the embedded instincts and trained behaviours are finally eliminated from all the vital and physical nature in their entirety.

Sri Aurobindo writes: “As for the method of mastery, it cannot be done by physical abstinence alone — it proceeds by a process of combined detachment and rejection. The consciousness stands back from the sex-impulse, feels it as not its own, as something alien thrown on it by Nature-force to which it refuses assent or identification — each time a certain movement of rejection throws it more and more outward. The mind remains unaffected; after a time the vital being which is the chief support withdraws from it in the same way, finally the physical consciousness no longer supports it. This process continues until even the subconscient can no longer rouse it up in dream and no further movement comes from the outer Nature-force to rekindle this lower fire. This is the course when the sex-propensity sticks obstinately; but there are some who can eliminate it decisively by a swift radical dropping away from the nature. That, however, is more rare.”

“It has to be said that the total elimination of the sex-impulse is one of the most difficult things in sadhana and one must be prepared for it to take time. But its total disappearance has been achieved and a practical liberation crossed only by occasional dream-movements from the subconscient is fairly common.”

Sri Aurobindo, Bases of Yoga, Chapter 4, Desire — Food — Sex, pp. 75-76

Addressing the Arguments Against Management and Redirection of the Sexual Energy by the Spiritual Seeker

People tend to get very defensive about the idea of celibacy, sexual abstinence, Brahmacharya, however it may be termed. They argue that it is unhealthy. They argue that this is a process in Nature that ensures the continuity of the race, they argue that the suppression of sexual expression leads to all kinds of perversions and criminality, including pedophilia, rape, or utilization of power dynamics to pressure others into sex. All of these arguments have some basis in fact. However, the spiritual seeker or practitioner is not the general case, but a very specific instance for a very small percentage of the population, and thus, some of the arguments, such as those relating to continuation of the species, are actually not relevant here.

With respect to the health argument, a factual review finds that a case can be made either way, depending on the actual circumstances. Elite athletes, for instance, frequently abstain from sexual activity before a competition, based on their experience of the potential weakening effect short-term of the expression of sexual energy rather than holding it in the core of the being. This is easily understood. It takes energy to produce the sexual seed, the sperm, as well as the semen that carries the sperm. Every time a sexual act occurs, these elements are dispersed and then the body begins to devote energy to rebuilding them. This energy takes away from energy that could be used elsewhere in the system.

Where health issues can arise is when the sexual energy is artificially suppressed and yet creating pressures that disrupt the vital energy, the emotions and the mental focus. Active suppression can disrupt the nerves, the emotions, and the mental balance. On the other side, excessive sexual expression can deplete the core energy of the physical body and make the nerves weak and exhausted.

Positive health benefits have been noted by many, if the sexual energy is conserved and allowed to provide positive support to the physical foundation, and if it is re-focused on positive growth processes.

The artificial suppression, without redirection, of the sexual energy can, indeed cause unhealthy fixations that can lead to expression of sexual energies in ways that are harmful to others in the society. A potentially greater cause of these societal harms, however, lies in the hyper-sexual focus of the society at large. When sexual energy, sexual imagery, sexual provocation surround people on all sides, there is no doubt that it will breed a certain amount of fixation that is unhealthy, and without a reasonable outlet, it works to disrupt both internally and externally.

The solution here is to recognise that for the spiritual seeker, the optimum approach is to conserve and refocus the attention and the application of energy toward the spiritual objective. This is done through separation from identification with the ego personality and the external action, and shifting the standpoint to that of the psychic being, with its expression of love and devotion focused on the Divine.

Sri Aurobindo notes: “The contrary opinion of which you speak may be due to the idea that sex is a natural part of the human vital-physical whole, a necessity like food and sleep, and that its total inhibition may lead to unbalancing and to serious disorders. It is a fact that sex suppressed in outward action but indulged in other ways may lead to disorders of the system and brain troubles. That is the root of the medical theory which discourages sexual abstinence. But I have observed that these things happen only when there is either secret indulgence of a perverse kind replacing the normal sexual activity or else an indulgence of it in a kind of subtle vital way by imagination or by an invisible vital interchange of an occult kind, — I do not think harm ever occurs when there is a true spiritual effort at mastery and abstinence. It is now held by many medical men in Europe that sexual abstinence, if it is genuine, is beneficial; for the element in the retas which serves the sexual act is then changed into its other element which feeds the energies of the system, mental, vital and physical — and that justifies the Indian idea of Brahmacharya, the transformation of retas into ojas and the raising of its energies upward so that they change into a spiritual force.”

Sri Aurobindo, Bases of Yoga, Chapter 4, Desire — Food — Sex, pg. 75

Suppression Without True Rejection of the Sexual Impulse Does Not Solve the Issue for the Spiritual Seeker

The first impulse of religious or spiritual paths with respect to the sex impulse has frequently been to simply suppress and deny it. When any form of energy is forcefully suppressed, it acts like a coiled spring, storing that energy and building up its potential power, until such time as it is able to overcome the force of the suppression and then is released with a tremendous uprising of that energy. The result can be explosive, similar to the eruption of a volcano. Pressures build up until the cover can no longer contain it and it bursts forth. As practitioners struggle with the force of the sexual impulse, they undergo mental, vital and even physical torture as they try to contain it. Self-flagellation, and the use of the cilice and the hair-shirt represent techniques used by those who try to overpower the sexual drive by torturing the body.

Those who try forceful suppression frequently find the energy turned in other directions, such as through a form of gluttony or greed for food; or through the rising of uncontrollable anger or an urge to dominate and control others, in many cases aggressively and through bullying behaviour.

The turn of the nature toward one option or another depends highly on which Guna is predominant in the nature. Rajas will tend toward the more aggressive forms and potentially turn outwards towards judgmental actions combined with attempts to control or bully others. Kapha may tend toward substitution with fulfilling a desire for food or luxuries. Sattwa may try to sublimate the energy into pursuits of an artistic or intellectual nature.

Sri Aurobindo provides a clue toward the solution when he suggests a substitution of focus. The being rejects the uprising of the desire in favor of this new focus. Western psychology describes the concept of ‘sublimation’ of the sexual force into other forms, such as artistic activity or intellectual pursuits. For the spiritual seeker, however, these forms do not fully answer the seeker’s objective. Certain spiritual paths describe an alternative where the intense aspiration, combined with certain psycho-physical techniques, can lead to what they call the ‘awakening of the Kundalini’, the serpent power coiled at the base of the spine, at the first chakra, which then mounts up the subtle channels through the higher chakras until eventually it bursts through the 1000-petalled chakra at the top of the head and joins the physical to the spiritual.

Some paths attempt to harness the energy and turn it directly to a spiritual purpose, in what are called Tantric paths. While this may certainly be possible, there seems to be a considerable acceptance of indulgence of the sexual desire which, for most practitioners, does not actually lead to the desired liberation, but rather, a further strengthening of the sexual force and a form of justification for indulging in it.

Humanity has tried numerous approaches to this question of managing the sexual impulse. A review of these approaches, and what they have (or have not) succeeded in accomplishing, can aid us in finding a solution that actually succeeds in achieving real mastery of the power active through the Muladhara (first) chakra.

Sri Aurobindo observes: “It is true that the mere suppression or holding down of desire is not eiough, not by itself truly effective, but that does not mean that desires are to be indulged; it means that desires have not merely to be suppressed, but to be rejected from the nature. In place of desire there must be a single-minded aspiration towards the Divine.”

“As for love, the love must be turned singly towards the Divine. What men call by that name is a vital interchange for mutual satisfaction of desire, vital impulse or physical pleasure. There must be nothing of this interchange between sadhaks; for to seek for it or indulge this kind of impulse only leads away from the sadhana.”

Sri Aurobindo, Bases of Yoga, Chapter 4, Desire — Food — Sex, pg. 70

The Sex-Impulse and the Spiritual Sadhana

In his book, The Mother, Sri Aurobindo describes sex as one of the three forces, “power, wealth, sex — that have the strongest attraction for the human ego and the Asura and are most generally misheld and misused by those who retain them.”

The force of the sex-impulse is one that impacts not just a specific individual, but social interactions, and spiritual sadhana. From a general perspective, the sex-impulse arises in the animal kingdom and acts as a means for ensuring the continuity of the race and as a means of creating intimate human bonding, while also being used as a form of control and domination. It provides a strong vital-physical response that is experienced as highly pleasurable, and thus, something that people (and animals) seek after and try to repeat.

The sex-impulse is so powerful, and potentially disruptive to social bonds, that it has been surrounded by numerous and widespread taboos, has been stigmatized by many as something ‘sinful’ or ‘dirty’ and at the same time, treated as a strong allurement and motivating force. In the modern world, sexualization begins even with young children, who are frequently dressed in such a way as to entice and provoke, and thus treated as an object of desire by individuals who are unable to manage this force effectively. Meanwhile entertainment and even the sale of goods is contextualized with sexual innuendo, sexual content and overt forms of sexual enticement. The sexual energy can drive an individual to extreme lengths, and has been an underlying force that leads to lust, jealousy and other forms of disruptive behaviour, both for the individual and for the society. Laws are developed to try to regulate the disruptive power of sex. These laws however have little impact on an individual under the influence of the unrestrained sexual-impulse. As a result, human society confronts this issue with mixed results. Laws, taboos and customs arise to hold the sexual-impulse under some form of control, while meanwhile the society itself fixates on sex as a central theme, motive and force to be desired and developed in the life, and when that is not possible, there are widespread occurrences of rape, weaponizing of sexual violence in the context of war or attempted domination, pedophilia and the proliferation of sexual images.

The role of the sex-impulse in life and the complexity surrounding it takes on a new aspect when a spiritual seeker attempts to understand and deal with it in a way that furthers his spiritual development. This, too, has an individual as well as a social aspect, especially if the individual has joined a community centered around spiritual development, such as a monastery, ashram, cloister, or other form of close-knit community. In such instances, the sexual energy can become an extremely disruptive force in the community and can lead to far-reaching negative consequences for the group. In most cases, this issue is addressed by segregating male and female members, yet this does not solve the issue — witness the widespread occurrence of homosexuality or pedophilia in various religious groups that suppress sexuality with vows of celibacy without solving the underlying force of the vital animal drive itself. Eventually, the underlying force itself must be understood, addressed and transformed.

Due to the complexity and widespread role of sex in all of human life, a step by step review will be required, and in the coming days we propose to take up these issues. Since our primary focus is on the development of a new, transformative stage of conscious evolution, we appreciate the eventual need to overcome the lower-vital-physical nature of this force and use the energy liberated from sex to develop the new higher consciousness. What this implies, and how this can be done, must be the focus of our forthcoming comprehensive review of the subject. This requires breaking through all of the moral and social rules and laws surrounding sex and seeing the vital-physical drive for what it is, not sinful, not dirty, but a basic force of evolution centered in the physical-vital nature, and thus being able to understand, overcome and master this first chakra energy. As with any power, there are both positive and negative aspects in the most general sense. And there is the evolutionary trend that requires harnessing the raw first chakra energy and redirecting it towards spiritual fulfillment.

Sri Aurobindo writes: “The sadhak has to turn away entirely from the invasion of the vital and the physical by the sex-impulse — for, if he does not conquer the sex-impulse there can be no settling in the body of the divine consciousness and the divine Ananda.”

Sri Aurobindo, Bases of Yoga, Chapter 4, Desire — Food — Sex, pg. 69