We Tend to Take Ourselves Too Seriously

Seriously, we get all wound up about things that have no real significance in the larger picture of life. Whether it is someone cutting in front of us in a queue or on the road, or whether someone says something about us which we do not like, we tend to get revved up and stew on what happened. In issues that have some relevance to our daily lives, we become even more fixated on what we desire to see happen. And if we turn to politics, religion or economic theory, we are in many cases ready to kill to uphold our favoured viewpoint. Seriously, we get into a narrow, rigid, solemn state of mind when we are confronted with defending whatever beliefs we have incorporated into our minds, whether based in fact or not.

It is a sign of some amount of maturity and inner growth for people to begin to recognise that there are differing views and ways of addressing issues, and that our own viewpoints must be taken “with a grain of salt”, so to speak.

When someone takes up the religious or the spiritual life, he begins to examine his each and every thought, emotion, feeling and reaction. He judges them based on the rules and guidelines he is provided by whatever faith or specific practice he is following. Of course, he cannot control 100% of all of these things and thus, spots variances between his internal reaction and the rules he wants to adhere to. These, in some cases very small, things become enormous issues and, with the tendency of taking oneself too seriously that infects humanity generally, he begins to tell himself that he is a failure, that he is not cut out for the spiritual life, or that there is something wrong with the teaching he is following. It is for such instances that Sri Aurobindo and the Mother counsel the seeker to smile at the circumstances and just keep going on. A dose of cheerfulness, combined with patience and perseverance is the general cure for such a state.

The Mother notes: “… the more you advance, the more vigilant must you become. And the most essential quality is perseverance, endurance, and a… what shall I call it? — a kind of inner good humour which helps you not to get discouraged, not to become sad, and to face all difficulties with a smile. There is an English word which expresses this very well — cheerfulness. If you can keep this within you, you fight much better, resist much better, in the light, these bad influences which try to hinder you from progressing.”

“A smile acts upon difficulties as the sun upon clouds — it disperses them.”

“Someone who knows how to smile in all circumstances is very close to true equality of soul.”

“Generally speaking, man is an animal who takes himself terribly seriously. To know how to smile at oneself in all circumstances, to smile at one’s sorrows and disillusions, ambitions and sufferings, indignation and revolt — what a powerful weapon with which to overcome oneself!”

“Learn to smile always and in all circumstances; to smile at your sorrows as well as your joys, your sufferings as well as your hopes, for in a smile there is a sovereign power of self-mastery.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 5, Attitudes on the Path, pp. 142-143

The Psychic Being Brings Cheerful Focus to the Spiritual Sadhana

In his novel Martin Chuzzlewit, Charles Dickens exposes us to a character who is perpetually cheerful, Mark Tapley. We meet him in a comfortable situation working at an inn, with a warm relationship with the proprietor of the inn, with whom he is in love (and who is in love with him). He recognises that this cheerful attitude may be conditioned by his favourable circumstances and posits that he will only know the steadfastness and character of himself and his cheerful responses to life if he can maintain that attitude in difficult circumstances. He purposely chooses to give up the comfortable situation and place himsefl in life circumstances that will challenge his ability to be cheerful. He passes the tests he set for himself and proves that he is able to face everything that life confronts him with, while maintaining his basic and characteristic positive attitude. Poverty, life and death circumstances, being cheated by con men, and facing all kinds of adversity did not shake him.

What Charles Dickens illuminates here is an important lesson, not only for life in the external world, but also for the way we confront obstacles, setbacks, difficulties, delays and diversions that can come up during the spiritual practice.

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother remind us that the basic element of cheerfulness comes from the opening of the psychic being and its shifting the attention away from the external ego-personality to the spiritual purpose and focus. It is the vital ego that suffers under the blows of the world. The psychic being can appreciate and understand that when there are issues or obstacles, they are part of the process of the transformation process and need to be taken in stride. The psychic naturally turns its focus towards the Divine and thus, attracts the support and energy that comes from the Divine, just as the sunflower turns its face toward the sun.

Sri Aurobindo observes: “Cheerfulness is the salt of sadhana. It is a thousand times better than gloominess.”

“It [cheerfulness] puts you in the right condition for the psychic to work and without knowing it you grow in just the right perceptions and right feelings for the spiritual attitude.”

The Mother adds: “All depression and gloom is created by the hostile forces who are never so pleased as when throwing on you a melancholy mood…. Therefore, face your troubles joyously, oppose with invariable cheerfulness the obstacles that beset the road to transformation. The best means of routing the enemy is to laugh in his face! You may grapple and tussle for days and he may still show an undiminished vigour; but just once laugh at him and lo! he takes to his heels. A laugh of self-confidence and of faith in the Divine is the most shattering strength possible — it disrupts the enemy’s front, spreads havoc in his ranks and carries you triumphantly onwards.”

“The converted vital feels… a joy in the process of realisation. All the difficulties implied in that process it accepts with gusto, it never feels happier than when the Truth is shown it and the play of falsehood in its lower nature laid bare. It does not do the Yoga as if carrying a burden on its back but as if it were a very pleasurable occupation. It is willing to endure the utmost with a smile if it is a condition of the transformation. Neither complaining nor grumbling, it endures happily because it is for the sake of the Divine that it does so. It has the unshakable conviction that the victory will be won.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 5, Attitudes on the Path, pp. 141-142

Spiritual Awakening: Moving Away from Disillusionment to Finding Meaning in Life

As we grow and experience life, there may come a time when we become disillusioned. We may feel like there is no meaning or significance to what we do. We feel like we are running in a hamster wheel, or on a treadmill, always striving to earn money to survive and maybe have a bit of enjoyment. We experience empty enjoyments and superficial relationships. We wind up asking ‘why’. This can be a real turning point for an individual who is ready for taking up the spiritual life. A feeling of throwing it all away and escaping rises up. We call these feelings many things. We may call it ‘nausea’ as the existentialists have been prone to do. We may call it ‘mid life crisis’ or ‘post partum depression’ or any number of things that represent a change in our feelings and emotions away from the external life we have been living. We may call it teenage rebellion as the young person looks at the life path in front of him and does not accept that this is really what life is all about. We may not know why, we may not have any sense of what we want to do or how we can simply change our lives, but we know that we have to do ‘something’.

While this feeling, this experience, can help us to recognise that there is something different, something deeper, something meaningful about our lives, it cannot, of itself, be the basis for a long-term transformation. That would amount to a falling into a state of depression, a tamasic rejection of the life without a new purpose arising. Wallowing in this state may lead to alcohol, drugs, depression, a life of dissipation, and even to thoughts of suicide or self-harm in some way or another.

When we look at individuals who have returned from a near-death experience, we frequently hear that they found a new meaning, a new understanding, a new mission that drives them forward. A similar turning toward a deeper reflection can lead people to a search for meaning in religion, in philosophy, in spiritual practices, and as they deepen their practice, they begin to sense that there is in fact a deeper purpose, and that their life has a meaning and it is worth living to realise that. Some find this as a foundation of solace, some experience a positive sense of joy when they open up to the new vision that presents itself to them once they move beyond the weariness and emptiness of their external lives.

The Buddha was a prince who lived a life of luxury in a sheltered environment, with every desire met. He was surrounded with all that the external life could offer. Eventually he found out that this life was a life of illusion and he rejected it, understood the four noble truths of human life, and set off to find a deeper realisation. He successfully moved from renunciation of the meaningless life of aristocratic luxury, to a deeply meaningful and personal experience of liberation and spiritual truth.

Sri Aurobindo writes: “Certainly if one is satisfied with life, entranced by it so that it shuts out the sense of the soul within or hampers the attraction to the Divine, then a period of vairagya, sorrow, depression, a painful breaking of the vital ties may be necessary and many go through that. But once the turn made, it should be to the one direction and a perpetual vairagya is not needed. Nor when we speak of cheerfulness as the best condition, do we mean a cheerful following of the vital life, but a cheerful following of the path to the Divine which is not impossible if the mind and heart take the right view and posture. At any rate, if positive cheerfulness is not possible in one’s case, still one should not acquiesce in or mentally support a constant depression and sadness.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 5, Attitudes on the Path, pg. 141

The Sunlit Path in the Yogic Endeavour

When we see deeply religious or spiritual people, we expect to see people who are serious, reserved and who carry an air of distance from the things of the world. This expectation has been so deeply embedded in the human psyche that we almost unconsciously take up this attitude when we tread the spiritual path. Consider the austerity and silence of monasteries and cloisters, or even the churches, temples, mosques or synagogues that abound throughout the world. It almost feels like heresy to relax, enjoy a laugh or just to be generally cheerful. The austere monk is the image that many hold for what true spirituality looks like. The path of austerity, struggle, suffering for one’s spiritual practice, becoming a martyr for God, is the way we think about spiritual practice. This increases the perceived gap between the spiritual or religious life and the external life in the world. it also tends to lead to a severe, strict view of things and can lead to judgmental practices that want to limit, constrict, punish and stamp out anything that varies from this model.

There was a famous film in the 1960’s which centered around the story of a novice in a cloister in Austria who did not quite fit in. She was boisterous, smiling, laughing, singing and otherwise finding full expression of the joy of living and the developmental needs of her vital being. The nuns discussed (in song) the trouble she was, but the Mother Superior supported her with the statement that “she makes me laugh”. The happiness she brought to the environment she lived in was recognised as something valuable and worthwhile. Eventually the nuns found a solution to the ‘problem’ by sending her out to become a caretaker for a number of children of a widower who was raising the children in a quasi-military style. She succeeded in bringing out the natural joyfulness of the children, and eventually won over their father, and they were married and faced the troubles of the Third Reich in Austria, together with joy in their hearts and a song on their lips. The film, The Sound of Music was based on a real underlying story and captivated hearts everywhere for its musical delights. But the deeper message is one that bears consideration — perhaps the austere, strict, judgmental view of many traditional religious or spiritual traditions (or let us not leave out the materialst versions based on economic models or political systems and ideologies) is not the only way, or even the best possible way.

The ‘law of attraction’ holds that whatever we focus upon we bring toward us. If we focus on difficulties and struggles, that is what we get! If we shift our focus to the Divine, to the beauty, the harmony, the oneness of the creation, the uniqueness and the bliss that is the secret ‘air’ that we all breathe in..

In the Brahmanandavalli of the Taittiriya Upanishad, the Rishi states, as translated by Sri Aurobindo: “When he hath gotten him this delight, then it is that this creature becomes a thing of bliss; for who could labour to draw in the breath or who could have strength to breathe it out, if there were not that Bliss in the heaven of his heart, the ether within his being? It is He that is the fountain of bliss…”

In Savitri: a Legend and a Symbol, Sri Aurobindo calls forth this power of bliss: “O radiant fountain of the world’s delight World-free and unattainable above, O Bliss who ever dwellst deep-hid within While men seek thee outside and never find”

If the seeker focuses his attention on the Oneness, on the higher ranges of consciousness, on the Bliss that lives in the secret heart, rather than on all of the petty concerns and struggles of the external being, he can tread a different path, which Sri Aurobindo and the Mother call the ‘sunlit path’.

Sri Aurobindo notes: “There is nothing spiritually wrong in being glad and cheerful, on the contrary it is the right thing. As for struggles and aspiration, struggles are really not indispensable to progress and there are many people who get so habituated to the struggling attitude that they have all the time struggles and very little else. That is not desirable. There is a sunlit path as well as a gloomy one and it is the better of the two.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 5, Attitudes on the Path, pg. 140

Overcoming Difficulties With Cheerfulness

We are all familiar with the artificial type of cheerfulness of the vital nature, which puts on a happy face, and glad hands everyone in a show of bubbly cheer. We are also familiar with the artificial type of cheerfulness that arises through the use of intoxicating beverages and immersion in an atmosphere of vital excitement. This type of cheer, however, is not able to overcome the difficulties one has to face, and when one leaves behind that artificial cheer, one is still faced with the problems, obstacles, doubts, fears and depressions that were temporarily masked behind the surface smile.

The type of cheerfulness that is powerful and effective stems from the psychic being that has begun to come forward and direct the life with a sense of its meaning and purpose. The soul has taken birth to accomplish something. It recognises that there are numerous setbacks and obstacles along the way, and it is prepared to meet them, quietly, patiently, cheerfully, to eventually achieve the goal.

Devotees have frequently in the past put on a sad face, and a grim demeanor, expressing how difficult the spiritual path was, and how much sacrifice it required. The ‘dark night of the soul’ has been a frequent topic among devotees in many different paths. They show their seriousness, and they struggle.

There is a story from the ancient texts that illustrates something of this power of cheerfulness in the spiritual quest. The divine sage Narada was traveling one day and came across a yogi who had undertaken strict austerities, seated under a tree, meditating without distraction and without regard for any of the amenities or comforts of the external life. When he saw Narada, he inquired: “I have been meditating here for years without break. When shall I achieve final liberation?” Narada used his divine sight to look into the yogi’s future and stated: “In four more lifetimes you will achieve final liberation.” The yogi was crestfallen at the verdict of Narada, as he was expecting liberation right away! Narada continued along his way and found a seeker immersed in singing and dancing out of devotion to God. He too inquired of Narada about his liberation, when he would be in the presence of the God he worshipped. Narada replied that “As many leaves as there are on this tree, that is the number of lifetimes it will take for your liberation.” At this, the devotee became ecstatic, exclaiming that in such a short time he would see God! A celestial voice came from the heavens declaring “You are liberated NOW!” The cheerfulness of this devotee was a power of his soul which had obviously taken charge of his external being and his life. He faced what the other yogi felt would be an enormous setback with characteristic cheerfulness and joy. This was the fast path to complete liberation from the bonds of the external world and life.

The Mother writes: “Another remarkable sign of the conversion of your vital, owing to Agni’s influence, is that you face your difficulties and obstacles with a smile. You do not sit any more in sackcloth and ashes, lamenting over your mistakes and feeling utterly crestfallen because you are not at the moment quite up to the mark. You simply chase away depression with a smile. A hundred mistakes do not matter to you: with a smile you recognise that you have erred and with a smile you resolve not to repeat the folly in the future. All depression and gloom is created by the hostile forces who are never so pleased as when throwing on you a melancholy mood. Humility is indeed one thing and depression quite another, the former a divine movement and the latter a very crude expression of the dark forces. Therefore, face your troubles joyously, oppose with invariable cheerfulness the obstacles that beset the road to transformation. The best means of routing the enemy is to laugh in his face! You may grapple and tussle for days and he may still show an undiminished vigour; but just once laugh at him and lo! he takes to his heels. A laugh of self-confidence and of faith in the Divine is the most shattering strength possible — it disrupts the enemy’s front, spreads havoc in his ranks and carries you triumphantly onwards.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Powers Within, Chapter VII Attitude, pg. 72